Do you crave time watching The Bold and the Beautiful, Days of our Lives, General Hospital, and The Young and the Restless like DAYS' Brady (Eric Martsolf) craves his next hit? Do you thirst after soap news like Y&R's Nikki (Melody Thomas Scott) thirsts after the smooth taste of top shelf liquor? Then it's possible you have a soap opera addiction, dear friend. But how do you know if you're truly an addict? Check out Soap Central's list, Seven Signs You Love Soaps WAY Too Much, to find out.
Soap operas have taken too high a place in your life if any of your pets or children have names like Thorne, Greenlee, Ridge, Starr, Echo, Palmer, Skye, Fallon, Silver, or Dimitri.
Additional sign: Seek serious help if you've changed your own birth name to a soap star's real name (Winsor, True, or Thorsten, for example).
It's possible that your love affair with daytime dramas has gone too far if you've been married more than two times. And you're considered a full-blown addict if the number of times you've walked down the aisle outweighs the number of months in a year (like One Life to Live's Asa Buchanan, who was married a whopping 14 times).
Additional sign: You're past the point of saying if you've been married to the same person twice in one year (like Y&R's Victor [Eric Braeden] and Sharon [Sharon Case]).
You just might be addicted to soap operas if you have a fully stocked crystal bar set at the ready (that you've repurchased several times because you've thrown various pieces at the wall from time to time), as well as an expensive security system that somehow allows everyone in town to blow through your front door with absolutely no problem at all.
Additional sign: Your addiction is at emergency status if you're on your fifth crystal bar set because you flung your first four against the fireplace mantel in sudden fits of rage.
You could have a bit of a soap opera dependency if you never wear the same article of clothing more than one time. After donning it once, it's garbage -- never to be seen again.
Additional sign: You're past the point of help if, after wearing the exact same item of clothing five days in a row, you look exactly the same as you did on the first day, wrinkle-free with perfect hair, makeup and all.
You're definitely addicted to soap operas if the happenings on shows like Jerry Springer and Maury Povich don't even phase you. After all, the schedule of your paternity tests matches the lunar cycle.
Additional sign: You're at emergency status if you've actually been on a show like Jerry Springer or Maury Povich. Equally so if you always seem to know the paternity test results of talk show guests way before the official reveal.
Your attachment to daytime dramas has reached dangerous heights if you've staged your own death when leaving a job -- after checking with your boss that the door is open for your miraculous return if/when the time is right and/or it makes sense for the position, of course.
Additional sign: You need serious help if, after leaving the job, you pop up in the old office as an apparition from time to time in an effort to offer your old coworkers guidance and assistance on life's tough decisions.
Your dependency on soap operas is at a dangerous level if you find yourself comparing people in your life to soap opera characters. For instance, when your best friend comes to you with a problem, you might say something like, "Oh, my gosh, that reminds me of the time when Ridge found out his daughter, Bridget, was actually his sister, but he still developed the hots for her!"
Additional sign: Just give up if your friends actually have the same problems as soap opera characters. Just face it: you're all going down together!
*Soap Central would like to point out that we fully support soap opera dependency and exhibit some signs of addiction ourselves.
