If Austin's coming back...

For the Week of March 21, 2005
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If Austin's coming back...
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Rumor has it that Austin's coming back to Days of our Lives. Can Carrie be far behind?

Hey, rumor has it that Austin's coming back to DAYS! I find that kind of wild, because he's basically coming back to a whole new canvas. There's no one for him to come back to! Carrie's left with Mike, Sami's a she-male for now, and Nicole is still clinging on to Brady for all she's worth. In a perfect world, he'd be coming back to blow his evil mother's cover, but he was never the sharpest tool in the deck. When I think back on Austin as he used to be, I get a visual of a big dumb lug with his mouth hanging open... ah, isn't that a pretty picture?

But really, somebody has to get in there and bust Kate. She's totally hanging off my last nerve. How dare she, a former prostitute, find the nerve to call either Hope or Belle a 'tramp' or 'slut'? Is that the pot calling the kettle black? Especially since neither Hope nor Belle even qualify as kettles?

It's time for Kate to take a reality break, get her nose out of her kid's sex lives, and her mind out of the gutter. It's just remarkable how no matter how badly she messes up her children's lives, she still can't see she's doing more harm than good!.

Even what should be her only saving grace - that of staying with John to help him through his drug addiction - is really based on her own need to 'move on' from her past with Roman, and take up with John. There's just enough sexy contact between Kate and John to keep Marlena and Roman's captive magic mirror honking the "A OOOH Gah" sound every now and again. Of course, it's a little hard to seduce a guy who's only waking motivation is to score more drugs....

My pet peeve this week (oh, like I only have one!) has to be the inept way that Jack handled the fake Jennifer. I mean, at some point the penny has to drop. Con job or not, Jack's done the dirty with the fake Jen! Wouldn't that have clued him in that the Jen he was bedding wasn't the right Jen? Or did he assume she'd gotten in some practice and new moves while he was away? Either way, yuck! And double yuck for the person who's playing the fake Jen. Wonder if Tony told her she was signing on for sex when she took the impersonation gig?

Bottom line, though, is that Jack didn't deal with the fake Jen very well at all, did he? I mean, the knocking unconscious part may not have been too chivalrous, but he had a pretty good reason. Leaving the gun on the desk and ignoring the body on the floor - not so bright. Smartest thing might have been to leave the house after securing the prisoner, yes? I guess the hot sun on the magic island burnt out his last brain cell..

And I'm still waiting for Hope to grow a backbone and toss Billie out on her butt. There's a funny fan fiction dialogue between Hope and Bo making the rounds. I won't quote it here, but you should be able to find it on the net. Long story short, Hope summarizes how badly Bo and Billie have muffed the search for Georgia, and points out that she seems to be the only one being criticized when she's the only person who hasn't screwed up the search. It's pretty bad when you're cheering on the fan fic instead of the professional writers.

See you in two weeks,

Roxanne

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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